Before you proceed, a content warning: This post will mention dieting, disordered eating, and body image issues.
While planning this blog, I decided to dedicate a space in here for my love for food. I say this from a much healthier place than I was in a couple months ago. You see, mine is a story familiar to most of us: a love-hate relationship with food that we often only joke about but, in all seriousness, cuts quite deep.
Full disclosure, I have never been diagnosed with nor treated for any eating disorder. Throughout my teens and twenties, however, I exhibited disordered eating behaviors that I am now, in my early thirties, working hard to unlearn. It hasn’t been easy, as you probably know or can imagine. I feel like David up against the Goliath that is diet culture.
As I write, I’m in recovery from a recent downward spiral that found me in the depths of self-loathing. That dark cloud has passed, however, and I’m back in the saddle, ready to try again. It’s an arduous task going against decades of diet culture and unrealistic beauty standards, as well as the alarming prevalence of misinformation today—but one worth undertaking. As tough as it is, I have also never been kinder to and more forgiving of myself since I decided to challenge what I had always known. I can keep wishing my younger self knew better, but there’s no going back and undoing the years I spent yo-yo dieting, obsessing over my weight, and feeling guilty for nourishing my body. It took a while to realize this is not the way to live, but it’s better late than never.
So now, I’ve been easing my way back into the kitchen, cooking up meals that not only taste good but feel good too, and I can’t wait to share them with you here. My current favorite: brunch!
I’m not much of a morning person, and it takes a while for my engines to warm up after waking, so a hearty brunch always hits the spot. On the table yesterday was a filling plate of English muffins, scrambled eggs, Italian sausage slices, and a simple side salad dressed with balsamic vinegar. This is my kind of food: simple, balanced, delicious, and fun.
I’m feeling pretty optimistic. The guilt has lessened, and the joy in nourishing my body is slowly but surely returning. Throw that in with a new environment and regular movement, and my road to recovery looks very promising. Certainly, I’m looking forward to the next brunch.